A flash fiction based on a song by Suran, "Wine". It tells about a girl who has commitment issues looped into a complicated and unlabeled relationship with another girl her age. She realizes what she's doing is wrong, how it'll only hurt them both, yet she can't stop. She wants to for the sake of the other, but she kept on going. She knows they'll never be together with the reason of her not being able to handle a relationship just yet. She's infatuated, likes the other even, but she knows she's just a walking needle constantly pricking the other if they were to be together.
Source: Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)
Wine
Lunar, Televisi dan Film 2021
Unrequited love is a thing humans will always undergo once in their lifetime. People fall for others, some are requited, some are not. You fall for one person, hoping that they feel the same way as you do. If they do, congratulations; if you don’t, that’s how humans and the universe works, move on.
In Kyara’s case, it’s better to say his relationship is rather complicated. She’s in love, yet she can’t fall too deep. Her “lover” likes her back, yet she’s too much for Kyara.
The concept of love is difficult to understand. A subjective topic. You’re either able to grasp it or you don’t. Some might say it’s pretty, your heart is spilling with love, the boost of serotonin whenever they see their loved ones, and such. At the same time, some might say it’s hell, it hurts, it’s too romanticized, your heart aches as if it had been stomped by a parade of elephants.
Kyara is in between. Time and time again she would feel joy, longing, and the desire to have Valerie as her own, then all of a sudden everything would stop and cease to exist. No more longing, no desire, just pure emptiness. She never shows it to Valerie, albeit there’s always a lingering thought in her mind that Valerie knows about it, nevertheless they had yet to bring it up.
Kyara has yet to admit to herself that “loving” Valerie should maybe come to a stop. She knows if they keep on doing this with no intention of saying no, it’s only worsening their pain, Valerie even more so.
The high school graduate doesn’t even remember or know what happened that led to their current mess called relationship. She remembers sneaking out of their shared room, walking down the hallway to the women's bathroom as agreed on beforehand, Valerie waiting for her with her reddened face and the tips of her ears pink as they slowly become red. The next thing she knew, this became a routine. She would crave for more and more each day passed.
Suddenly, they were both living with each other, some nights Kyara would come home, Valerie’s glasses askew, their hot breaths colliding with each other, and their bodies burning at the slightest touch of skin.
Then everything changed, it became less intimate and more of an obligation. Kyara loves it, but it’s still boring. Emptiness is starting to take over her. There weren’t any more sparks.
Fighting became more and more of a routine than the sweet and loving caresses. The joyous spark became a bright red flare of irritation and exasperation. Long nights of sweet talks became less. Rather than flowers and chocolates, they gave each other petty arguments that led to shoutings.
Moonshine, you shine brighter than the Moon and stars combined, yet you are just as out of reach as the Sun.
Our hearts seem to be as near as Earth and Moon, however to me it’s as far as the Sun and Pluto. We were never meant to be. You are much like the Moon and I am no other than Earth. If we were to collide, everything would explode.
We complete each other, yet we’ll never be with each other.
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